I’ve come back to this feeling of self. A strong sense of self. Where I can clearly see all my faults. All the decisions I make on the daily that later end up with me saying “why me?” I do it all to myself. Nobody forces me to do anything. I haven’t gone at this with a rotten mentality. I understand why I do what I do. I’m scared deep down inside. Scared that I might make the wrong call. That I might make a wrong decision that will change my life for the worse. I let it go, after understanding it. I know I’m scared but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop going. It’s not like where I’m at right now is any better. I have nothing to lose in trying. In believing that I can and will do everything I said I was going to do and I don’t mean it goal wise. Whether or not I reach my goals is irrelevant, what I’m after is being able to do everything I tell myself to do. When I say to eat a certain way or finish a specific task, I want to just do it.
That’s the version of you that can’t be shaken. The one who follows through not because of motivation or convenience, but because your word means something. That’s what builds a strong self—consistency between what you say and what you do. When those align, you stop needing external validation. You stop fearing the outcomes because you know you can handle them.
Fear will still exist. Doubt won’t vanish. But neither will stop you anymore. You’re not waiting to feel fearless before taking action—you’re moving anyway. That’s the power. To act in full awareness of your fear and still do what you said you would.
And the more you do that, the more trust you build with yourself. You become reliable to your own mind. That’s all you ever really needed. Not perfection. Not assurance of success. Just self-integrity. You said you would. So you will.
