I’m tired and I’m irritated. Everything that goes wrong makes my head go in a spiral. The day already has so much for me to do and it just gets worse. It adds to it with each passing minute. It makes me infuriated and it makes me make mistakes. The mistakes I make are avoidable and that pisses me off even more. I’m finding my balance though. It has taken a lot of my day to pass for me to find it, but I am finding it. I realize that as angry as I might get, the cure is work. The more work I manage to get done, the better I feel about the day. That’s all that matters to me right now. I know I can’t change how I feel about it hats going on and that sucks. Let it suck though, who cares. All that matters in the end of the day is what I did. What did I manage to get done? So just keep on moving and don’t stop. The day will fly by, angry or not at least it will fly by.
I’ve learned that some days arrive heavy without warning. They hit hard from the start and demand more of me than I expected to give. I get caught in the spiral—every little failure echoes louder than it should. I hate when I let that spiral control my rhythm, because I know better. But knowing better doesn’t always mean I do better. Sometimes I just have to watch myself fall into it before I can climb my way back out.
There’s a strange power in accepting the rage instead of resisting it. Let it sit in the room with me while I move. Let it talk, scream, whatever it wants. I’ll work anyway. That’s how I balance it. Not by fixing my mood, but by focusing on the one thing I still have control over—what I get done. Even if my mind is in chaos, my hands can still move. That’s how I start to win the day back.
Because when the day ends, it won’t matter how I felt—it will only matter what I finished. That’s the score I keep. And I know the anger will pass, the irritation will fade, but the effort I put in will stay with me. It becomes part of me. So I work. Not because it feels good in the moment, but because it’s the only honest path forward when everything else feels off. I work because I still believe in becoming.
