The question of if I can do it again tomorrow never ends. Doesn’t matter what I get done today, tomorrow will come with questions and doubts. Unsure if it was a fluke of motivation, or a complete reworking of the brain. Well for today it’s the latter. It’s me reworking my brain to be what I want it to be. The problem is that wants can change. Wants change all the time. Desire adds to a want. Desire makes a want stronger. Working toward that desire starts to build delusions in your own mind. Delusions of two kind. Delusions that you will never make it, and delusions that there’s no way you won’t make it. Either one can be right, whoever wins is up to you. Which is why what you do now is the most important thing you can do. It shapes everything. It decides all outcomes, well before the perceived decision was made.
The loop never ends. Every night you lay down with victories or failures, but the morning always starts with questions. Can I do it again? Will I fold this time? Motivation can’t be trusted—it’s inconsistent, unreliable. But patterns? Patterns don’t lie. And I’m trying to build one strong enough that even on the worst days, it carries me through without needing to ask if I have what it takes.
Desire is a dangerous gift. It makes a man believe he can become anything, but it also whispers that he never will. Both voices live in the same mind, and both feel true depending on the hour. I’ve felt the rush of believing nothing can stop me, and I’ve sunk into the pit of thinking I’m delusional. That’s the game. It’s not about silencing the voices—it’s about proving one right through action.
So I act. I move now. I shift the weight today, not tomorrow. Because what I do in this exact moment has the power to tilt the balance in my favor. It’s the lever that determines which voice gets louder. I may never silence doubt completely, but I can drown it out with proof. One action at a time, until I no longer wonder if I’ll make it—I just keep moving until I arrive.
