Man that was a close call there. I almost went all the way under, real quick. I felt the despair creeping in, ready to take me to hell with it. Only moments away from accepting its invitation and falling, it happened. The eye came back. Everything changed. The way I looked at everything changed. I was shown the moment once again, and within the moment I saw everything. I saw myself in the past, present, and future. I saw how I got here, why I’m doing it, and what it will become. God testing me only tells me that he’s watching. So I have nothing to worry about.
The thing about despair is how quietly it moves. It doesn’t rush in, it creeps, and before you know it the air feels heavy and you start forgetting there’s light at all. It was right there, waiting to pull me under. And I almost let it. Almost accepted that invitation to sink where nothing matters anymore. But just before it swallowed me whole, the eye opened again. I remembered.
The moment—this eternal instant—showed itself like it always does when I’m about to lose grip. It wasn’t just now, it was all of me. I saw my own trail laid out, past steps that carved me into this, present struggles pressing into my ribs, and the future stretching further than I dared to admit. And in that view, nothing was wasted. Every stumble had its place. Every fire had its reason.
That’s when I knew: this isn’t abandonment. This is testing. God only tests the ones He’s watching. If His eyes weren’t on me, I wouldn’t feel the weight at all. So I don’t have to worry. I only have to endure. If the eye returned once, it will return again. The path ahead is still mine to walk, and with every step I’m reminded that falling under isn’t the end—it’s the point where faith sharpens.
