Everyone experiences it, the doubt in one’s own abilities to do something that is required of them. Change is scary for everyone, even those that do not fear it. Adaptability however is something to strive for. At any moment it could all change. The way of life you were once accustomed to will cease to be, and you will be forced to adapt… or drown.
The process of adaptation is a grueling one that can leave you in a constant state of exhaustion accompanied with a seemingly never ending chatter going on in your minds eye. It can even feel, at times, that your very existence is a strain. It will force you to examine exactly how you came to be the way you know yourself to be.
Once you arrive there, you will come across another hurdle. You must come to accept the fact that your entire way of being has been written by the cause and effect of everything that has happened to you, and continues to happen to you. Meaning that if you are serious about creating a conscious effort to change and not just change because it was forced onto you, then you will have to pay attention to how you respond to that which happens to you.
Before this you unconsciously learned a way to take in all these “truths” that life has slapped in your face.
For example, maybe as a kid you had a very loving mother. One that almost overwhelmed you with love. Then one day as you got older and as things continued happening, she changed on you. She no longer became that overtly loving mother that you had grown accustomed to, maybe she got hurt by something that happened to her and she no longer had that strength to keep up that character. This is not to say that she no longer loved you, or even that you at all questioned her love for you, you simply noted and acknowledged this change.
Something that was, no longer is.
You had to accept that, you came across a forced change. For you and for her.
This happens everywhere and for everyone at all times. I call it the variable “x”. This equation brings forth a requirement to change. Though you should note that change is always available. It was never meant to be something that just happens to you. Change was meant to be a tool for you to use for yourself.
To go on the adventures you wanted. To get the things you want. To be the person you wish to be.
It is there for you, by your side, waiting patiently for your command. Waiting to serve you as you need.
That is what lies beyond…
Every problem you have, and every thought about how you are not the person you want to be, can be put to rest. Can be destroyed through the conscious use of the principle of change. More than a tool, it can be looked at as a brother. Protecting each other and working together to create something new.
Beyond usage, change is a friend. Once you come to terms with its need to exist and accompany you, and understand how it affects you the way it has until now, then you will see it as a friend.
Undoubtedly though you will still go through moments of emptiness and loneliness in this pursuit to understand change and yourself. You will feel at times a stranger to yourself. That you are leaving yourself behind like some sort of cold hearted monster. You’ll feel guilt, amongst other emotions.
Still, know this. It is your friend. Until you see it, use it to accompany you through the loneliness you will feel as you begin to change at your own will.
