“What if I continue to train harder. Focusing each day on subtle improvements. Jumping faster, breathing better, stretching better. What if I compile all these emotions I feel into myself through training. Will I grow with them,

“If I can learn to enjoy this, this suck that I’m in. I wonder how much more I’d enjoy the good. How much will I appreciate it? God I hope I appreciate it. This moment I’m in

“This much self-talk can’t be normal can it? I genuinely have managed to split myself in half. All so that I can cure an incurable loneliness. I think having learned to understand it changed me, “it” being

“I was ashamed when I found out life was a costume party, and I attended with my real face. Everyone wears a mask. They hide what they want, manipulate, lie. They fake conversations for appearances. They say