A good heart is the leading cause of inner conflict. It’s the parental voice inside you that drags you back to your senses when you stray too far out into the void.
Spending too much time looking at the world through the lens of a finite being can cause you to see all the bad there really is. Then you begin to understand that the bad is much worse than you could have even imagined.
That realization has lead many to despair.
It’s what they say about being careful when looking into the void, because it gazes back at you.
It shows you all the ways you too are evil. All the thoughts you fight to keep out f the mental rolodex. They all come out and suffocate you. If you add on top of that solitude, then you have yourself a recipe for a mental breakdown and a character dissolution.
Death itself doesn’t compare to the death of one’s own morals and righteousness.
When you let go of those you’re different, and can never be the same. You are a new. Foreign to yourself.
You begin to explore just how far past the line you are willing to go to get the life you desire to have. You see that with every line crossed, the line itself begins to move.
What was once morally implorable eto you is now just another means to an end.
An end you soon realize will not end. It can’t end anymore, you went too far.
Once you go past what you said you wouldn’t, you enter a new state of being. That is one that has to reach that destination in their mind no matter the cost.
The life you envision, the money, the woman, whatever it is that caused you to go past the line in the first place. You now can’t stop until you have it. Or die trying.
It’s when you sit and stop that the silence becomes too loud to hear anything else. You are drowned in a pit of all your wrong doings.
What do you do then?
You do the only thing you know now, you pass the line once again.
You set out for even more outlandish dreams with a base of “good intentions” that are there to try and counteract all the wrong you now have done.
Really it’s just a form of escapism from one’s own actions.
Until you one day are forced to sit and listen to the silence…
Within it you hear your heart. That is where the pain is being stored. Where you’re caging it in for your own protection.
The only way out is through your own heart. Through the way it makes you feel to sit and analyze all you’ve done. The lessons you must swallow and the wrongs you must accept. Without it you would deprive yourself of the useful feeling of despair.
If you’re feeling disheartened, do not fear. It’s a sign of a god heart. A heart that cares for you and knows where the path you are leads to.
It’ll carry the weight of it all like it always has, and the more you are willing to accept, the bigger it grows.
Capable of storing more and more.
Freeing you of the trap you were in and giving you the freedom to choose.
To decide how you’ll live your life now.
