In that chamber you go to isolate out all other senses, you felt something. It appeared to you first with the mask of fear itself. You were terrified of dying right then and there. So it forced you into a corner where no matter what move you decided to make, you would die.
Acceptance…
You let go in that moment, but not in the way you let go once before. Where you accepted your death, seeing it as simply the hand you get dealt.
This time it was different, you let go of the fear of it. Not conforming with the acceptance of death but rather denying it.
Statement…
This time as it approached you, you met it with more of that thing you call your ego. Your self.
The acceptance of your own ego and desire to live brought out an uncontrollable spasm of your entire body. Yes, this was no exaggeration either, but rather a watered down version of what really happened that night in the chamber I go to float in.
It was as if my body was pulsating, I could feel all my muscles vibrating and twitching. What took place in my mind next was the fight for my life.
Be it metaphorical or not, I genuinely felt that I could pass in this very moment. if I couldn’t manage to slow down the spasms taking place throughout my entire body. I feared I’d fall into something worse if I slipped.
Waves…
I did it, I slowed it all down. Every single muscular twitch, every strain in my neck muscles. All of it was relaxed and returned.
I did it by seeing beyond what was occurring to me and started to look at my surroundings as waves. When I changed my eyesight to this I saw myself stuck in a current.
The current was strong and the harder you fought it, the further it pulled you in. The more tired you got.
Where was it pulling me to?
Well the visual that was being presented to me in my minds eye during the realization itself, was that of infinity. My essence was being swallowed by infinity and I would cease to be if I let it be.
Plan…
I understood that fighting it wouldn’t take me out of it, but neither would remaining still. I would just be pulled faster towards infinity.
The information in front of my mind was exhausting to even try and comprehend. It was suffocating me.
So I began to be more aware of myself in the physical world. I used my feel for my body as a weapon against the onslaught of infinity.
I created my own waves within the waves I was trapped in. I began to physically rock my body to the rythm of the spasms until I could isolate the frequency that I was stuck in.
(understanding the flow of the river)
I saw the shoreline being my body in the physical world. So I heightened my awareness of fit as much as I could. I felt every fiber in my body and created my own rhythm, which allowed me to swim out of the current through its own trajectory.
Found…
That is where I found myself, within myself. I stood before infinity.
Accepting all its greatness and grandness, but betting on myself. I then returned voluntarily into the heart of infinity, surrounding myself completely in it, and soaked it all in.
I sealed it away within myself. Within the confines of my body. Within it now lies all there ever was and all there ever will be…
Now even through all that, I still remain myself.
