He told himself that he wasn’t going to be able to do as much today as he could because the day required so much of him.
Look at him now though.
He has pushed past the comfort of excuses he’s laid out for himself. He’s set himself up now to finish what’s left for the day with grace.
Not everything has to be rushed and hurried. You can still enjoy yourself throughout the days that require the most of you. The more often you find it in you to do so, the more you will learn to appreciate the good times.
He sure does have a lot of good times waiting for him now doesn’t he. What a life he is making for himself now. What a joy to be able to watch how he has grown and changed over the years.
Before a day like today would have paralyzed him. It would be the recipe for a buffet of excuses. Laid out beautifully for him to walk around and choose which ones he would like to use for today.
The day itself would of been lost and he would yet again be stuck in another yesterday, missing out on yet another today.
So far he has come though. He took the challenge of the day and used it as fuel to push past his own limitations. His body was tired but he couldn’t afford to wait around for it to feel good enough to train again.
Instead he just got himself down on the floor and got started on the push ups. Making sure that all the push ups got done before he left work for the day. He’s well aware that there’s enough waiting for him after work that needs to be finished. He has to help his future self as much as he can.
He knew that, he accepted the fact that it wasn’t going to feel good. That’s ok with him.
Not everyday will you feel good.
Not everyday will it be easy.
Some days you have to find your own motivation to get it done. He knows that all too well now.
I want to understand where it was that he was able to turn this new leaf.
I’ve pondered on it for a while now but I think I get it.
For him, everything began to change rapidly when he let go of two things.
The first thing was his feelings. This isn’t to mean that he no longer feels anything like some sort of robot, or an emotionless being. He still feels, even more than before. He just understands what it is now, just a feeling. It’s not him.
The second being that he allows himself to feel tired and unmotivated.
He feels the weight of a list of to-dos that await for him. Then he lets go and just starts on the task in front of him. Sure every once in a while he will fall into a loop of thought, but each fall prompts a rise.
When he feels the fall he already knows what follows. He knows without a shadow of a doubt that he’ll get up and finish that thing that seems so impossible to him right now.
Though today I think he surprised himself. I don’t think he had his money on him being able to get all the things he got done with this much time left in the day. Especially not after the morning he experienced.
He didn’t expect it but he knew that what little time he had for the day he needed to make sure he utilized it completely. That’s what got him this far. He appreciated the time he did have available throughout the day and made good on it with action.
He also knows himself. He knows that if he didn’t do them now he would just have to do them later tonight. There’s no way in hell he would go to sleep without finishing everything. He’s done it before time and time again. All the other days, some harder than today, leading up to this moment where he is now. It’s just another day, it’s just another feeling.
So he did it again today without thinking about the rest. All those unnecessary thoughts that come when you wait.
