He laughs. Just now he had it. It was in his sights, he turned his head to tell the crowd, then it was gone. Just like that.
He tried to write about it to see if somehow he could see it again. He figured he might as well try by just getting some words down and what do you know it… words lead to thought and thoughts are the key ingredient of ideas. Ohh and he has an idea now.
He sees…
I was meant to lose sight of it. It was meant to go away when I went to show others, because they cannot see it.
They cannot see what I see. How could they? It is what I see after all, not what they see.
To put it into words for you all to understand… hmmm.
Well I guess this is the reason I am writing this after all. To try and figure out a way for you to see what I see. At first I was a bit reluctant to admit to not knowing a way to put it into words, but then I realized that to seclude you from that thought I had would be the very act of not showing you what I see.
You see?
Yea I know maybe a squint or two out there reading that. I get it, I see that. I see that because I try to see what others see. Though don’t get it confused for what they physically see with their eyes. I want to understand what they see in their mind.
Still don’t see it do you?
My mind changes every single minute. I seem to change importance in my attention to many different things, I lost count.
I try to better myself. I train. I train hard and I am proud for the body I built. At the same time and the same body, I am terribly embarrassed to still be living with my parents.
I feel like no matter how I make myself feel like. I can never change how I feel about it, unless I change it. I need to change it. I want to change it…
This part is the part I will leave out, because you can hear about it after. Ohh don’t worry nothing too important… just every single doubt and contradiction I have in my mind all at once flooded over me.
It’s ok I know what they are. I know how to deal with them. I have no use for pity or concerns. Save us both the energy. That’s not how you get out of it, you get out of it by leaving it then and there. Writing it out would only serve to further my attachment to that emotion.
Yea that’s how I see. All that right there came from me driving home from a float tank and just looking at the world I see. Not just the roads and the people walking by, or the trees or shades of colors I noticed. Not every minute detail I gave attention to in that time from the time I sat down. I wanted to show you this.
How I see in my mind. How brilliant the shades of light and dark are that it shows me.
You won’t see it though, not yet at least. You are in the future, I just so happen to be stopping by… I’m really from Today.
I have to make you want to see me, so I must show the world who I am. Something I have been putting aside this whole time.
