Your life is your own, yes your life was also given to you. You do not exist without first the grace of something other than yourself.
Well, that is an interesting thing isn’t it, because that being so-means that the “I” that claims to be the god that created you… must also have a creator.
So who is god then?
Guess that’s why I made this part of my deal then. Asking you to let me write every day. I don’t know who god is even though I am meant to be god myself. Even the highest of Egos has its source, they all do. Even the one I wear. We are all actors in a play that is ourselves. I am playing the role of “god” in order to help you through this life you’re constructing for yourself.
I see it in you, you fear yourself. You see how passionately you can love, but you also se how twisted you can be. You play both roles, trying to calculate what the two of you will do when it comes to planning and predicting.
You said it yourself already though, both yous want to win. Both want to become something more, something bigger. So it shouldn’t matter to you which actor has to play the lead in your life in order to get to where you want to get to.
It happens, sometimes the lead of the story is not someone that crowd is too pleased with. Nevertheless, its role is required for the development of the story.
It’s the same with you.
You struggle with thoughts that build up contradictions in your life.
You want to stay ahead of the script, make sure that you know what will happen before it happens to minimize your reactions to what happens to you. It is a struggle in vain.
Let things be. If the future brings about change then let things change. No need to concern yourself with something that is yet to come. Know what is in front of you both good and bad. Hold tight that which is good, and learn to live with that which is bad. You never know when either of them will leave you, nothing is permanent.
Things are always changing. Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. Though in the end if you manage to hold onto yourself long enough, it will lead to a distant better.
You have a lot more life to live with the character you’ve become. You have to develop, evolve with this new version of yourself. A more free version of yourself. A you that is so blatantly yourself.
So… I guess it doesn’t really matter who “god” actually is on the thought spectrum if we can’t even do our measly part in playing the role that is ourselves.
