I’m back baby. I’m back but damn do I feel heavy. These pull ups are not as light as I remember them to be. I thought the week off would make me stronger but it only served to make me weaker in mind. Well maybe that’s an exaggeration brewed off the back of my disdain for my inability to be as good as I was before I left. I’ll be back to that though. Sure I’ll have to struggle it out today, it’ll work out though. As long as it gets done my body will begin to remember what it needs. As it remembers it will give me back the strength to do so. Strength is the responde to a need, not a desire. I need to get this workout done again today. Through that need I will find the strength to do so. I know it.
I can feel the weight of this return in every rep, every lift. It’s as if my muscles are waking up from a deep sleep, groggy, reluctant, and unwilling to perform the way they once did without a fight. But that’s all part of the process, isn’t it? Each repetition, every pull and strain, is a reminder to my body of what it used to know so well. I’m not just fighting the resistance of the weights today; I’m fighting the doubt creeping in, the voice that questions if I still have what it takes. But I know better. I’ve faced that voice before, and I’ve silenced it every time by simply showing up and pushing through.
The week away was a reset, a moment to breathe, but now the real work begins. I’m not here to be comfortable; I’m here to rekindle the fire. The fatigue I feel now is temporary. My body, no matter how reluctant, will remember its strength. It has to. I’ll remind it every day if I have to, with every rep, every set, until my muscles respond like they used to.
It’s humbling, being here again, feeling weaker than I’d like, but I see this as a chance. A chance to build a foundation even stronger than before, to bring back not just the physical strength but the mental edge that sharpens with every challenge. Strength is built in these moments of struggle, when nothing feels easy, when I have to work harder for each gain. The need for it drives me; the desire alone isn’t enough. There’s something in the necessity, in the obligation to myself, that brings out the strength I forgot I had.
I’ll take every weight, every aching pull-up, and turn it into a reminder that strength comes from persistence, from pushing through, even when the ease I once knew feels out of reach. And with each effort, my body will remember. It will catch up to my will. This heaviness won’t last because it can’t. I’m carving my way back, one disciplined movement at a time, not for glory, but for the simple fact that I know I’m capable of it. And with that conviction, the strength will come. I know it’s only a matter of time.
