This was the testing day. Whether or not I can keep this up. Turns out, at least for today, I can keep this up. It hurt again. The whole time I was doing it the one thought that remained in my mind was “this is long”. No matter how many I did the finish line seemed so far. I had to laugh it off. I had to get a bit cynical about it in order to by it. I did get by it though. I did it. I did it again. Didn’t think I was going to make it through the day. Been having a bad mentality all week. Telling myself that I can’t do it because I’m hurt. If I believe it then it’s true. If I choose to not accept it, if I choose to keep going even if it seems completely unreasonable, then I am more than I thought I was. I remember the first time I felt myself become more than I thought I was. There is an opportunity to feel that feeling again. Chase after it. Stay at it. It’ll be tough but it’ll be worth it if you can manage it.
The testing day. The one where every doubt, every ache, every reason to quit came knocking louder than ever. I braced myself against it, not knowing if I could make it through. Yet here I am, on the other side of it. It wasn’t pretty, it wasn’t graceful, but it was done. That’s what matters.
“This is long.” That single thought echoed with every rep, every set, every moment my body screamed at me to stop. I could feel the weight of the day pressing harder with each passing second, the finish line playing tricks, moving further and further out of reach. The absurdity of it all almost made me laugh. Maybe I needed to laugh. Maybe that was my way of telling the pain that I wasn’t going to take it so seriously, that I wasn’t going to let it break me.
Because I didn’t let it break me. No matter how heavy it felt, no matter how loud the excuses were, I kept going. I laughed, I gritted my teeth, I cursed the sheer length of it, but I kept moving. And in the end, I proved something to myself again. That’s the part that stays with me. Not the pain, not the fatigue, but the quiet reminder that I can still do it.
All week, I’ve been walking a fine line. My mentality was slipping, telling me I wasn’t enough, that I should take it easy, that I couldn’t do it because I was hurt. That voice in my head has been my biggest opponent. It’s clever, persistent, and patient. But it forgot one thing: I don’t have to listen to it. I can choose to defy it.
If I believe the lie, then it’s true. But if I decide to reject it, if I dare to press forward even when it seems unreasonable, I can be more. More than I thought I was. More than I’ve been before. I remember that first time vividly—the moment I surprised myself, the moment I realized I could exceed every expectation I’d ever had for myself.
That feeling is worth chasing. That sense of becoming. Of realizing that the walls I thought were unbreakable were just illusions. Today was one of those moments. It reminded me why I’m here, why I push, why I endure.
It won’t be easy. It never is. But the hardest things in life are often the most worthwhile. I’ll stay at it, no matter how long it feels, no matter how far away the finish line seems. Because every step forward, every battle fought, brings me closer to that feeling again—the feeling of becoming more. Of proving to myself that I am limitless.
