I’m not punishing you with all this ask I have for you. I know that the discipline of it gets tiring. I know that doing the same workout everyday eats at you. The mornings are hard. The idea of what is all waiting for you throughout the day sometimes causes you to have fits of anger and resentment. I see bits of resentment for the life that you have to live. You don’t let it swallow you whole though. You come back to reality and ground yourself. You do so by expanding your field of view and understanding that this is what you want. You don’t want an easy and comfortable life. You want a life that is exciting. An exciting life requires a lot of boring and mind numbing work. You have to do all the things you say you can do. Most of the time, that requires you to do the things you don’t want to do. By doing all of those things, that leads you to be able to do all the things you’ve always wanted to do. Discipline is your ticket to that freedom you’ve always chased.
There’s a strange kind of compassion that comes with demanding more of yourself. Not the soft kind, but the honest kind—the kind that sees your pain, your fatigue, your frustration… and still hands you the weight anyway. It’s not cruelty. It’s clarity. Because if I’m going to arrive at the life I keep dreaming about, I have to be built for it. I can’t expect to be trusted with the extraordinary while avoiding the ordinary.
The resentment that bubbles up sometimes isn’t weakness—it’s friction. It’s the stretch between who I am and who I say I want to become. And when that friction shows up, I try to meet it with awareness instead of guilt. It’s just my system pushing back on transformation. So I widen my lens. I remind myself that boredom is a rite of passage, repetition is a prayer, and effort is the bridge. If I want wonder, I have to build it with grit.
This isn’t punishment—it’s the price of admission. And I’m willing to pay it. Because deep down, beneath the noise and the doubt, I still believe in what’s waiting for me. That version of me who has earned his freedom through persistence. So I carry the weight now so I can run freely later. Not every step feels good, but every step gets me closer. That’s enough reason to keep going.
