You returned back to camp back at a place you’ve been before. This time you are joined by the company of a woman, a woman you like. She likes you, she wants you.
Something you’ve always told yourself you were undeserving of, that for many reasons you could ist off, you didn’t deserve the comfort of a woman’s touch. Especially not one you liked as much as you like her.
So you told her all of your concerns. You told her you were broke, you lived with your parents still, you don’t have the job you wish you did. Yet when you told her all that she didn’t budge a bit. She told you it didn’t matter to her at all, she wants you.
She has brought you now back into the timeless zone. That place you long for and work so hard to reach for small moments in the day. She takes you here with no effort at all. She just needs to be here with you, touch you, warm you.
For some reason there is sounds of alarms going off in your mind even after a trip like this one you have now with her. It has been an amazing trip too.
Steaks and potatoes with garlic bread on the side. Joints at hand for whenever the craving strikes. Sex by the fire under the starlights and a bright moon. S’mores to end off the night. Head to bed where you proceed to hold her all night long until the sun breaks through the tent and the stars disappear.
Waking up in the morning to such a beautiful sight, sharing each others presence. Hiking up a mountain in the morning where you got a picture of her and smoked another joint.
All this and you’re still here, still haven’t even made the breakfast yet. Eggs, reheated steak, potatoes, and garlic bread.
I bring all this up because that concern you have amusez me.
Are you scared that this is enough?
Do you fear the loss of your ambition if you stay with her?
What even is your ambition?
When you make it where you want, what will you end up doing?
How will you spend your time?
I guess the answer never changed, you’d spend it exactly how you want to spend it. Well… is this not something you enjoyed? Did you have something else in mind?
Quit your worrying, leave it for the days to come. There will be plenty to worry about trust me I’ve seen where this goes.
These are the days you will look back on with melancholy. So don’t start now, not while you’re still living in the good memory.
This is what it is all about after all. Enjoying to the fullest what is right in front of you, because that is all there ever is. The future you’re concerned about isn’t real. It is simply Todays stacked on top of each other. You can’t get nowhere near the future if you don’t start stacking all your Todays.
Continue to add to the good memories, and never waste time thinking of something as foolish as not being worthy of something like this.
