Another day doing this damn charade. Tired of having to wear this mask it’s not what I want to be doing. I haven’t been training as much as I normally do either. I mean I still train all the days I tell myself to train that hasn’t changed. I just require less of my day. I thought it would make me better in other aspects of my life but so far I’ve been disappointed with the results. I think I need to mix in some more workouts to help push me into something. There I go again thinking that I need some sort of push or catalyst to be the lead in taking action for what I know I want. If I know I want it then why can’t I just take the action on my own terms. Why do I have to gamify everything. Every single decision has to be make through a conscious effort to reach a certain goal. It slows me down though. I need to be able to decide and act on will. I need to put aside the overthinking.
Maybe that’s the real problem—not the lack of effort, not the structure, but the constant need to justify every move. If I keep searching for the perfect system, the right setup, the ideal conditions, I’ll never just do. I’ll always be in this loop of strategizing instead of executing. And what has that gotten me so far? A slower pace, a mind tangled in unnecessary calculations, and a lingering frustration that I’m not moving fast enough.
I used to think discipline meant setting strict parameters, making every action a calculated step toward something greater. But maybe true discipline is simpler than that. Maybe it’s about cutting out the noise, dropping the unnecessary layers of thought, and just acting. No more waiting for the right motivation, no more designing the perfect routine—just movement, instinct, and momentum.
If I strip it all down, what’s left? Just me and my will. No distractions, no strategies, no excuses. Just action. And maybe that’s all I really need.
