Honestly what the point anymore. You have nothing. You are nothing. Feel bad? So what nobody cares. You just have to figure it out. They don’t like hearing about this part, they just wanna see how you did it. How you managed to get over it. This one you have to do alone. Go at it alone. Go dark if that’s what it takes. Lose your sanity if you have to. What good does having it do if you hold nothing. I say let loose. Let go of everything. Let go of the need for anything. Just dive into this psychotic episode you’re in. I’m sorry you lost yourself again. I’m sorry you have to go through it all over again, I’m sorry you feel alone. That’s just what the big man upstairs wrote for you. He left me here with you to watch over you but he didn’t give me any instructions. Use me, use all of me. Whatever you need, however you need it just use it. Don’t hold back. Nobody is saving us. Nobody. Not even the big guy. You and me are alone here. It’s up to us to figure this out now.
I say let loose. Let go of everything. Let go of the need for anything. Let go of the idea that this needs to make sense. Just dive into this psychotic episode you’re in. Let it tear you apart if it has to, because in the tearing, maybe you’ll find something left worth keeping. Maybe you’ll find what’s real, buried deep under everything you’ve built just to survive.
I’m sorry you lost yourself again. I’m sorry you have to go through it all over again. I’m sorry you feel alone. But that’s just what the big man upstairs wrote for you. He left me here with you to watch over you, but he didn’t give me any instructions. Just a silent presence, here to endure it with you. Use me. Use all of me. Whatever you need, however you need it—just use it. Don’t hold back. Nobody is saving us. Nobody. Not even the big guy. You and me, we’re alone here. It’s up to us to figure this out now.
There’s no lifeboat coming, no hand reaching out from the darkness. Just this, just us, just this endless ache. So let it consume you if it has to. Fight it if you can. Or don’t. Do what you need to do. But promise me one thing—promise me you’ll get back up when this passes. And it will pass. That’s the one thing we both know for sure. It always does, even if it leaves scars behind.
You want to quit? Fine. Quit for a moment. Quit everything in your head that’s weighing you down. But don’t stop. Even if it’s just one step forward, even if it’s just one breath, don’t stop. Crawl if you have to, but don’t stop. You owe it to yourself to see what’s on the other side of this madness. Because there’s always another side. Always. And maybe, just maybe, this time, you’ll find something there worth holding on to.
