“No one really knows what is going on. What life even is. Everyone is running on guesses and hopes, or even worse, conditions. Everything has no meaning and any meaning at the same time. What you give

“What if I continue to train harder. Focusing each day on subtle improvements. Jumping faster, breathing better, stretching better. What if I compile all these emotions I feel into myself through training. Will I grow with them,

“If I can learn to enjoy this, this suck that I’m in. I wonder how much more I’d enjoy the good. How much will I appreciate it? God I hope I appreciate it. This moment I’m in

“This much self-talk can’t be normal can it? I genuinely have managed to split myself in half. All so that I can cure an incurable loneliness. I think having learned to understand it changed me, “it” being