“Everyday, every hour, every minute, every second.
I think.
Never stops.
The voice has no mute button.
The voice does not stop talking to me, luring me in.
Silence has been forgotten,
constant noise is the normal.
Entangled I become, trapped.
I was meant to be the puppet master of myself,
what happened?
Why am I allowing myself to be attached once again?
The point was to not think about it,
yet that’s all I can think about now.
Stop. Feed your head.
Do I just keep going then?
Will I find the light searching in the dark?
I sure hope so,
I’m betting my life on it.”
In the ceaseless ticking of life’s clock—every day, every hour, every minute, every second—I find myself entwined in an endless train of thought. This relentless inner voice is unyielding, lacking any semblance of a mute button. It talks incessantly, crafting narratives that draw me in, weaving tales that sometimes uplift but often ensnare. “The voice does not stop talking to me, luring me in.” It is a siren song that masks the silence I once knew, replacing tranquility with constant, unending noise.
In this noise, the notion of silence becomes a distant memory, a forgotten relic of a quieter time. This new normal is a cacophony that leaves me entangled, trapped within my own thoughts. “Entangled I become, trapped.” What was meant to be mastery over my mind turns into a puppet show where I am both the puppet and the puppeteer, yet somehow feel neither fully in control nor completely free.
The essence of my being—the core of who I am—is challenged by this incessant internal chatter. I find myself questioning, “Why am I allowing myself to be attached once again?” The intention was to transcend, to not be swayed by the ceaseless tide of thought, yet here I am, caught in the very storm I sought to navigate quietly through.
The real battle, then, is not with the thoughts themselves but with the way these thoughts shape my perception and actions. The goal is not to silence the mind but to understand its patterns, to redirect its energy from chaotic noise to harmonious symphony. “The point was to not think about it, yet that’s all I can think about now.” This is the paradox that defines my quest.
“Stop. Feed your head.” This is not just a plea for cessation but a call for nourishment—intellectual, emotional, spiritual. It’s about feeding the mind with thoughts that empower and liberate rather than confine. In this continuous dialogue, I’m seeking not just answers but clarity and light, even if it means searching in the dark.
“Do I just keep going then? Will I find the light searching in the dark?” These are not just rhetorical questions but a narrative of hope and resilience. I am betting my life on the belief that by persevering through the darkness, by continually questioning and challenging my own thoughts, I will find the light—the light that not only illuminates but also transforms.
In a world that relentlessly tries to mold us into preconceived images, maintaining the essence of who we are is an act of defiance and courage. It’s about shaping and changing oneself not to conform to external standards but to remain authentically aligned with one’s own values and beliefs. This journey is not just about discovering who I am but about defining who I want to be, every second, every minute, every hour, every day.
